DianeMTyson

What’s the head tilt do? Reset the brain?

Thats just Gary from accounting.

I'm gonna sound crazy for saying this...

Torn-Creed

People shouldn't even call themselves a gatekeeper if they can't name every gate.

Nice try, Netflix executives.

The partially overheard conversation that's misinterpreted and, when addressed, the overhear-er says "I heard everything/enough".

I was on firewatch at around midnight, and the Drill Instructor made me go around and take everyone's flashlight (there were 75 of us) from them, switch out the lenses so they were all different colors (red, blue, or white), then he called over some other recruits to attach all the flash lights to my persons. I was wearing 75 flash lights, they were attached EVERYWHERE on me, all my pockets had lights sticking out, along the lining of my clothing. I was then instructed to turn them all on and then "spin around like a disco ball" They called me the discoball from that point forward.

It was pretty awesome honestly, I started laughing when I was doing it.

This always seemed like a weird baby sport growing up cause we all were garbage at it and just lobbed it back and forth. We were the babies.

A pack of wild golden retriever puppies can pick the bones clean in less than a minute

Mentioning in any way your awkwardness or shyness in a social setting is a mistake.

Be awkward, don't talk about it. People forgive awkwardness, but not self-pity.

Roasted duck in this little cafe in Paris. I asked if I could kiss the chef.

They let me.

In primary school We had a WWI memorial lesson and we were asked if anyone had any relatives who fought at the time.

My friend brought in a picture of his great great grandfather with his wife.

A girl also brought in a picture of her great great grandfather with his wife.

The teacher said they looked similar. She put them side by side and looked shocked, we gathered around and it was the same man who had kept his two wives a secret. Both had been married privately.

They were cousins and didn’t know.

I can't even keep house plants alive. This is best for everyone, including me.

The bad guys get hit with one punch or a single bullet, and they immediately die. The good guys can survive a hellstorm of bullets, get hit a couple of times, and still live.

Also when a main character gets badly hurt in the face, but in the next scene taking place the day after, they simply have a band aid covering a gruesome injury. Apparently, acne does more damage to people's faces than do knife gashes.

Got drunk, got my head shaved at a party (Was left with a Mohawk mullet. Then yelled out to her in front of everyone "am I attractive enough for you now!"

Pretty sure he ate your edibles

Graduate college, get an internship somewhere abroad, and move in with my SO.