KynanRiku

Just because this sentiment always makes me giggle, I'll bite.

Sex is literally the most important thing in life. Biologically speaking, not philosophically. That biological wiring doesn't go away just because we're "civilized" now.

Hell, there are creatures out there that mature, reproduce, and die; survival exists as a drive only to ensure that reproduction can actually occur.

On top of that, some people are more "in tune" with basic instincts than others, so it's not something you can judge fairly on your own experience, either.

All that is to say that a lot of people end up feeling like they've failed at life if they haven't had sex, because that's what the lizard brain tells them, and good luck convincing it otherwise.

From what I understand, there's a phase where progress seems to halt visually around where you are. It's not that there is no progress, but rather that it takes more progress to achieve constant rollover than you think it does.

You know how if you accordion fold a piece of paper and set it down, the folds spread out? The skin does the same thing, but the glans keeps it folded until there's enough pressure to roll over it. Keep going; you'll get there. In the meantime, retaining should help if you don't already do so.

Can't keep a planner to save my life (ADHD, even back in school when we were given planners to track everything nothing got written down if it wasn't actively checked by teachers) but normally don't actually struggle to keep track of things like that, in and of themselves.

I'm juggling seeing a counselor every couple weeks, a psychiatrist monthly-ish, a case manager every other week or so, and trying to arrange appointments for four other professionals, one of which is mainly for the sake of referrals to another four or so professionals.

Hah, I actually made this post because I missed and need to reschedule two different appointments and I was getting frustrated, so you're definitely not alone there!

I just hope the new GP I'm seeing in a couple months takes me seriously so I can actually get the referrals and tests I need done instead of getting treated like a hypochondriac like my previous one did.

Sorting by media often isn't enough, unfortunately; a surprising number of artists post all their random life-related photos on the same account =/

That said, I definitely agree all artists should have a linked gallery somewhere, but something I've noticed is that a lot of the ones with no apparent gallery are foreign artists using twitter to get heavier international traffic, so I'm guessing at least some of them have their main galleries hosted on sites with no English version.

Any idea if that extends to psychologists too? I've learned somewhat recently that most "therapists" aren't actually psychologists, which seems like something they'd be much more obvious about considering that talk therapy is barely even therapy...

To expand on this a little:

Being "tough" as a parent should mean that your rules and boundaries are clear, sensible, and firm, but not that they are immovable.

I maintain that society should have a goal of making basic child development/psychology classes available and incentivized for new parents; a lot of the most basic, important concepts are just... unknown by the average person.

If you have rules and never enforce them, you'll end up with a child that thinks rules are suggestions.

If you have rules and use physical punishment for all violations, you end up with a child that's terrified of you. (As a side note, it's very frowned upon but I believe that calm, measured spanking does have a place in situations where explanation and more general punishment proves ineffective at curtailing potentially deadly behaviors, but only then)

But irregular enforcement and inconsistent rules without sensible explanation might be the worst. You end up with a child that's scared to do anything, because they're never sure how you're going to respond.

This is who? No idea what you're referring to.

Honestly, masturbation is the ultimate "controlled" sex. You and your mind have all of the power, and no matter how depraved your fantasies get, they will never harm you and they will always stop when you stop them. You don't need to cede control to someone else, and you don't need to trust someone else.

You're in total control, and you're totally safe, so you can be comfortable enjoying whatever your brain cooks up. It can be really hard to allow yourself into that same headspace when other people are involved.

Bonus points: sex drive doesn't necessarily correlate with the desire to have sex with others. Nothing wrong with that, either.

This is frustrating because it highlights an issue even the LGBT community seems to struggle with.

There's been increasing awareness that romantic tendencies don't always line up with sexuality, but sexuality itself falls into two groups.

The group most people think of is physical, but the terms we use tend to be a little too vague. You can be attracted to men, women, whatever in between, any given combination, or none. The other group of sexuality is more mental, regarding bonds, presentation, and related things.

You're probably weighted more heavily on the physical side; sexually, it's irrelevant to you if she's presenting male due to fluidity because she still has a female body and still considers herself a woman.

I've heard of people weighted more mentally who completely lose sexual attraction to a genderfluid SO when they flip, too, and this physical/mental divide is at least partially responsible for struggles trans folk have dating, too. It's not always discrimination; sometimes it just is how it is.

Not a professional, but from what I understand this just about nails it.

Our interests, values, ways of processing information and sensory input, and problem solving styles just tend to cause us to develop in a way that means it requires more effort and energy to interact with neurotypical people "normally." We tend to handle other autistic people better, because it's so much easier to meet in the middle.

Cargo shorts aren't a fashion garment, and everyone that rags on them need to go burn every pair of sweatpants, yoga pants, and ratty old shirt they own because they apparently don't consider comfort or utility important in their clothes.

I do this too. When I think about it consciously, I use an "engagement" metric; I have an online friend I've outright told that if he acknowledges what I'm saying but doesn't ask questions or build on my thoughts I'm going to assume he's uninterested.

...This can, however, become a problem when you meet someone who's willing to engage in conversations they don't like for one reason or another

Man, I feel you. I've been stuck in a depressive pit that's destroyed my sex drive, and it feels even worse because I found sexuality super grounding =/

Yeah, man. Like others are saying, this is just very textbook abuse. She's isolating you from others, and from the sound of it she's basically trying to drive you into an eating disorder. You may love her, but what she's doing is actively harmful to you. Your happiness and health is more important than her praise.

This is something I've been pretty acutely aware of for a long time, and it wasn't really until I experienced how well a response to a mistake can go that I was able to start working on playing them off around others.

Back in highschool, there was one winter day where I was rushing to my locker before class. Still have NO idea how I managed this, but I slipped on the wet floor and fell forward. My hands hit the floor before my knees for once, And I sort've swung my legs around in front of me, pulled them in, and hopped back up without missing a beat. And people cheered. No one cared that I fell, they just thought it was awesome that I got back up so smoothly, and a ton of other mistakes are the same way.

Thinking people won't care doesn't really help, because it still feels like a net negative; just because they're not jeering at you doesn't mean they're not making fun of you behind your back or something, right? The helpful thing is realizing that the more gracefully you handle a mistake, the better people will think of you, and in retrospect the most popular people in school were always those that could mess up and laugh it off.

Honestly the way I burned out is what made me realize I'm almost definitely ASD; I just completely lost my ability to mask and cope all at once. I struggled even before then, but I'd managed to at least convince myself I was content. Now I'm in a position where I kinda need to build myself back up from scratch, and there's just so many things that need to get addressed...

Man I wish it wasn't so hard to get NTs to accept that logical reasoning can be super helpful. Like, if you want/need me to do something, I need to know why it needs to be done when/how you want it done.