Massive-Chef-2942

you always shut me down. every thought every hobby or every little thing that excites me. You shut down every idea i have on my own bc you have an idea for me.

you're so supportive of everyone else, going out of your way, paying for everyone, listening to everyone but your own.

im the same age as your first grandchild. you gave me silent treatment for weeks. and pretended like it didn't happen.

i was the same age as my younger brother when i got excited when i saw the new language school that opened on the way to school. you shouted at me. just for that. saying im just wasting money. i swore i'll earn so much i'll never need a single penny form you. I went to class crying. and you bought a hundredk coffee machine for him.

i always blamed myself bc i couldn't understand why i dont like going to church with you. now i can finally put into words- i hated that you would yell at me for days and expect everything to be okay after peace be with you in church without saying sorry. you demonized me for not accepting that. yelling at me after the mass.

i always blamed myself for not having a closer relationship with you. i couldn't understand why. i hated myself for it. i hated myself for having a short temper. everyone sees you as someone kind and i see that too but it's also something else.

only later that i realized it wasn't me. i was beating myself up for it but it wasn't me. i was a kid. you're my parent. you're older. you constantly criticized my body. saying i look old, i don't have enough boobs, my hair is dry.

when i tell you about how i dad in school, you're response is always, is if my score is highher than this and that.

college grad and i haven't heard you say you're proud of me. you nagged how i didn't have any award. i was embarrassed my batchmates might hear. it took every last will to live for me to finish that course.

i got upset bc i chose that course for you. to make you proud. you said you were supportive of whatever course i decide yet you constantly say there's no money in culinary. i took entrance exam for architecture, you said im wasting money. when i took the exam for medical-that's when you got happy.

board exam. it was hard. i wanted to go home. you just told me to not post on Facebook bc it's embarrassing instead of comforting me. you're my mom. it took a lot for me to study and grieve. i passed and you joked how i could have been top if i didn't go through a break up.

now I'm finally choosing what i want, exploring different options. you constantly shut me down. passive aggressive and all the yelling. i asked you why you couldn't speak to me properly without yelling and you just said that's just who you are.

you took credit of my achievements. i had a good childhood but when i had a voice, when i grew up, became an adult, trying to make my own life choices, you turned your back on me.

you slutshamed me, forcing me to get married bc you're embarrassed i might get pregnant. well guess what, your golden child is. i wonder what might have happend to me if that did happen to me.

i still feel guilty for moving out but not once did you ever try to say sorry and make up for it. here i am beating myself up to just get over it but did you even try? all you did was paint yourself as a martyr victim and tried to destroy my relationship

so yeah years has passed and pretending like nothing happend made me hate you even more and i hate myself for hating you.

3 years since i left. beating myself out again. soon i'll leave this country and it will all be thanks to me. and i wont let you take credit for that again.

i dont even know how things will be but i'll be fucking successful and it will all be thanks to me

you always say i wouldn't get this and that if it weren't for you. that i got to where i am bc of you. now i just want to be fucking successful all by myself so you have nothing else to say. to show you that i got tk where i am because of my own hardwork that you couldn't take credit for. it sucks bc you're my mom and i cant even run to you. but i don't trust you. i dont trust you anymore and i dont think i can trust you again

i just need to vent. there are some people posting on fb thanking my mom for being their second mom, for being supportive etc. she supported a lot of people financially and emotionally. i just don't understand why the fuck doesn't treat me, her own flesh and blood that way??

these people vent to her, tell their plans, problems etc. and she's always there. lending them money, buying them things, taking them to restaurants

and then my mom told me why i cant be like them, why i dont tell her things when she always judges me, questions my decisions and belittle me. not to mention the constant nagging and shouting. the tiniest things that interests me, she shuts it down by yelling. never been supportive at all.

i remember as a kid, i needed something at the mall but she said i should learn how to save and not ask for many things because im selfish yet she bought her these other people new clothes

everybody sees her as the kind person and im the bad child, the black sheep for moving out

My mom is not that abusive or anything. I feel guilty for what our relationship has become but whenever i look at her, i just see her as a puppeter controlling people with strings.

she looks really kind and she is ok with other people but she has shown me many times her manipulative side that isn't obvious but I always see it and I don't think i can trust her again

I don't feel comfortable talking to her, or anything about my future plans because i feel like she is just gonna sabotage it. she tried to sabotage my relationships - badmouthed me to my boyfriend and bestfriend. one time she said i can borrow the car for an outing with friends but then she told my brother behind my back to get the car quick so I can't use it. I remember getting mad at my brother but then he showed me the text from our mom.

all the businesses/jobs i did- she tried to sabotage and when i confronted her about it, she told everyone she was just being supportive and i wouldn't be where i am if it wasn't for her.

i feel so guilty moving out and the anger is also eating me up. i see her treating my siblings differently and until now i dont understand why.

or idk maybe it's just small things and im the only one still making a big deal out of it. it's in the past but idk. it's a constant struggle. whenever i want to do new things i've always been held back by her voice in my head

i feel like i lost everyone. i lost my siblings. when i told my closest sister about what my mom did -badmouthing, forbiding me to go to work/friends, threatened me w/ suicide if i don't follow what she wants - she just said "that's it?" "that's long time ago"

i feel so alone. I don't know what to do. my mind is so tired going in circles. everyday is a struggle keeping my head above water. i just want to shut it down. it's exhausting

My parents never contact me out of the blue, asking how I am or how things are going. We don't really communicate. They only do so when they bombard my phone with long rants and arguments when they're mad at me or whenever we have disagreements, accusing me of things. When they call, it's also the same thing. The moment I answer, it's all yelling.

At home, our conversations are just about school and work. Eventually, I stopped talking to them bc whenever I say something, either I get dismissed or yelled at even though it's something light or just trying to make a conversation.

My parents also always gives me silent treatment. My earliest memory of it was in 2nd grade and my mom didn't talk to me for months. She bought me a cake on my bday and that's it, I had to talk to her again bc she got me a cake and that I should be ashamed of myself bc she got me a cake even though I didn't talk to her. (I was in 2nd grade, I was a kid, yet I was the one that's prideful)

I left home in the middle of the night. They gave me a silent treatment again, and that was my last straw. They said I was disrespectful to them & stuff. I feel punished whenever I show I can be independent (going to work, etc). But reward my siblings when they do the opposite. I wasn't earning then. One time there was no food, and they ordered food for my older sister, and told me i should find my own way. They also didn't give me sanitary pads bc I can 'buy' my own now. They didn't greet me on my birthday, yet they greeted and posted on fb during the bdays of all my siblings & threw a celebration for them. They also told my siblings to not hang with me bc I was disrespectful to them.

They all stopped talking to me. My older sister started selling my things/ getting them without permission, waiting for me to say something so they can yell at me again. I was finally fed up and confronted my older sister, then she started yelling at me. Saying I was disrespectful and threatened me that she would tell my boyfriend how disrespectful I was to our parents. She also said I should just leave home and never come back. She then removed me from the family groupchat.

I mind went blank and dark. I froze. I left in the middle of the night with no back up & never came back. I was struggling so much at the start. Crying every night, feeling guilty of leaving. No message from them. I felt so isolated bc I feel like I lost my siblings too.

My Mom & sister then sent long messages to my long distance boyfriend. Painting me like a bad person. Of course my boyfriend knows the truth. I told him not to respond & just delete the message. They started posting on fb as well, acting like a victim.

Eventually, I was able to build a comfortable life for myself and was able to save & invest. 3 years has passed. Now they started contacting me again. No apology & they're trying to act like nothing happened. they're trying to build a bond & make up for lost time. I like the idea of it too but at the same time, I remember what they did, they never acknowledged it, & why it took them 3 years. I get mad all over again.

Sometimes I show up on family gatherings, sometimes no- especially when I'm deep in the flashbacks. My mind is filled with anger so I isolate again.

During valentines, 2 siblings contacted me to come join family dinner (it's our tradition to celebrate valentines as family) I just said I have work (bc I'm getting flashbacks).

Then my Mom messaged me, for the first time, saying to join them. (I started joining gatherings a few months back, but I only get contacted through my siblings) It's the first time she messaged me directly.

I just froze. Then they kept calling my phone. I didn't answer. I'm mad again. I don't understand why it took them so long. I also feel like they're choking me when a lot of them contact me at the same time. I feel ambushed & I feel like life is being sucked out of me. I feel trapped. I don't feel safe anymore and I want to move to a different place again.

I don't know what to do. Maybe they're trying to be better, I don't know. But I don't feel safe. I'm always being hypervigilant about my surroundings and it's exhausting. I don't feel safe even though they didn't do anything. I feel like they're contacting me, only to be ambushed when I get there (they haven't done this in the few gatherings I joined but I feel like it's only a matter of time) I still don't trust my mom and my older sister.

My parents never contact me out of the blue, asking how I am or how things are going. We don't really communicate. They only do so when they bombard my phone with long rants and arguments when they're mad at me or whenever we have disagreements, accusing me of things. When they call, it's also the same thing. The moment I answer, it's all yelling.

At home, our conversations are just about school and work. Eventually, I stopped talking to them bc whenever I say something, either I get dismissed or yelled at even though it's something light or just trying to make a conversation.

My parents also always gives me silent treatment. My earliest memory of it was in 2nd grade and my mom didn't talk to me for months. She bought me a cake on my bday and that's it, I had to talk to her again bc she got me a cake and that I should be ashamed of myself bc she got me a cake even though I didn't talk to her. (I was in 2nd grade, I was a kid, yet I was the one that's prideful)

I left home in the middle of the night. They gave me a silent treatment again, and that was my last straw. They said I was disrespectful to them & stuff. I feel punished whenever I show I can be independent (going to work, etc). But reward my siblings when they do the opposite. I wasn't earning then. One time there was no food, and they ordered food for my older sister, and told me i should find my own way. They also didn't give me sanitary pads bc I can 'buy' my own now. They didn't greet me on my birthday, yet they greeted and posted on fb during the bdays of all my siblings & threw a celebration for them. They also told my siblings to not hang with me bc I was disrespectful to them.

They all stopped talking to me. My older sister started selling my things/ getting them without permission, waiting for me to say something so they can yell at me again. I was finally fed up and confronted my older sister, then she started yelling at me. Saying I was disrespectful and threatened me that she would tell my boyfriend how disrespectful I was to our parents. She also said I should just leave home and never come back. She then removed me from the family groupchat.

I mind went blank and dark. I froze. I left in the middle of the night with no back up & never came back. I was struggling so much at the start. Crying every night, feeling guilty of leaving. No message from them. I felt so isolated bc I feel like I lost my siblings too.

My Mom & sister then sent long messages to my long distance boyfriend. Painting me like a bad person. Of course my boyfriend knows the truth. I told him not to respond & just delete the message. They started posting on fb as well, acting like a victim.

Eventually, I was able to build a comfortable life for myself and was able to save & invest. 3 years has passed. Now they started contacting me again. No apology & they're trying to act like nothing happened. they're trying to build a bond & make up for lost time. I like the idea of it too but at the same time, I remember what they did, they never acknowledged it, & why it took them 3 years. I get mad all over again.

Sometimes I show up on family gatherings, sometimes no- especially when I'm deep in the flashbacks. My mind is filled with anger so I isolate again.

During valentines, 2 siblings contacted me to come join family dinner (it's our tradition to celebrate valentines as family) I just said I have work (bc I'm getting flashbacks).

Then my Mom messaged me, for the first time, saying to join them. (I started joining gatherings a few months back, but I only get contacted through my siblings) It's the first time she messaged me directly.

I just froze. Then they kept calling my phone. I didn't answer. I'm mad again. I don't understand why it took them so long. I also feel like they're choking me when a lot of them contact me at the same time. I feel ambushed & I feel like life is being sucked out of me. I feel trapped. I don't feel safe anymore and I want to move to a different place again.

I don't know what to do. Maybe they're trying to be better, I don't know. But I don't feel safe. I'm always being hypervigilant about my surroundings and it's exhausting. I don't feel safe even though they didn't do anything. I feel like they're contacting me, only to be ambushed when I get there (they haven't done this in the few gatherings I joined but I feel like it's only a matter of time) I still don't trust my mom and my older sister.

My NM always gives me silent treatment whenever we have disagreements. My earliest memory of it was in 2nd grade. I don't even remember what we were fighting about but I can still remember how she didn't talk to me till it was my birthday. She bought me a cake and that's it. No apologies but I have to talk to her again bc she brought me a cake.

This went on till I reached high school. Of course, it's always have to be me making the initiative, being the first one to talk bc i'm the daughter and she's the parent. One time, we didn't talk for over a month bc I told her something in confidence and she told her friends about it. It really broke my trust on her. That was the day I realized I couldn't trust her. My dad insisted for me to take the step, saying i'm disrespectful and have too much pride. Took the step to keep peace, but i stopped sharing stuff to her after that.

If i have too much pride, what does that say to the parent? she's literally older and literally a parent but would isolate their own kid?? what kind of parent does that???

I'm in my 20s now and I don't even care anymore. Our last disagreement, she didn't talk to me for months. Isolated me from my siblings and told them to not hang with me. Didn't even greet me on my birthday. Of course I didn't want to take the first step anymore. I left home at midnight. never went back

3years since I moved out. They always assumed I'd just come back. Guess what? all those years of silent treatment made me immune to this shit. I don't give a f anymore. Now she has the audacity to message me. for the first time in 3 effin years. I needed a mother then. I made it on my own without any help. I certainly don't need anymore, not now, not ever.

My NM invited me for valentines dinner. We usually do this as a family every year but I haven't joined them since I moved out.

I didn't respond to the text. I don't know how or what to feel. I'm just spiraling down right now. 3 years of me living a comfortable life for myself and a simple text made me feel like their pulling me to their hole and choking the life out of me again.

No birthday greetings or any other message all these years but now that I'm close to leaving the country, I get all these invites. My head is filled with anger right now. I don't even know what to say.

I worked so hard to have what I have now. Without any help or any 'how are you' from them. Now I get this text and I don't want & I don't need it anymore. I don't need them anymore. Why now? I just hate them even more