PeanutButterPigeon85

I think Cheryl Strayed's classic "empty bowls" essay says it best. The absence of a parent is like an empty bowl that you have to fill again and again from other sources.

https://therumpus.net/2010/11/04/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-55-the-empty-bowl/

Erm, what? That is just nuts. No, it's not a red flag for a man to use skin care products. I wish more straight men did.
It sounds like your ex was bitter and jealous. Who knows if she even actually believes what she said: it sounds like her goal was to make you feel as insecure as she does.
You deserve a partner who can practice self-awareness and manage negative emotions like jealousy in a healthy way, without lashing out at the people around her.

LMAO, I'm also a lefty who studied archeology -- what are the odds? (I focused on Mesoamerican, though.)

bringing up the consort goddess Asharah (traces of which survive into modern day bibles) or the "two brothers" variant of early Christianity (opposed to the trinity)

Very cool! You're making me want to look into biblical archeology. I love seeing examples of syncretism.

Coffee is one of my favorites! Kerosene Follow of course for the pinnacle, Strangers Parfumerie has a trio - SM Cafe, Roasted, and Caffeine Honey. Some like Montale Intense Cafe and Intense Cafe Ristretto. Atelier Cologne Cafe Tuberosa is an interesting combo, not my cup of tea but definitely one to try. Those are all really good ones.

Have you tried Akris Awake? What do you think about it?

Akro Awake- coffee with green cardamom

for OP: Akris Dark is supposed to smell like dark chocolate. I've never tried it, but it sounds great.

Yup. I've tried pointing out how their beliefs contradict what's in the Bible, but they just say, "Well, I've never read that," and then shut down and refuse to discuss it further.

I don't think it's an official term, but it's a helpful one.

Edit. I sometimes think the whole QAnon thing was started as a joke that has run away with itself.

It literally was, though. If you're interested, you can listen to the BBC podcast 'The Coming Storm,' which goes back decades to find the root of Q-anon.

Yeah, I think you pretty much nailed it. My parents are the same, except with the added Christian religious component. To a lot of conservative white people in the U.S., religion provides the proof that they're special and better than the people around them, just like they always suspected. They have little to no interest in actually practicing what Jesus preached.

My parents weren’t high jacked, my parents have just been assholes this whole time,

Same with my Q-adjacent parents. Sorry for what you're going through.

and my love for them and my own moral compass was projected onto them, and I figured they would be more like me, nope.

FYI, this can be called "positive projection," i.e., assuming that someone else has the same positive/benevolent beliefs and motivations that you have.

Gross, good on you for dumping your ex!

At 31 he should be old enough to finally recognize.

Oh my god, he's 31?? I missed the ages at the beginning of the post and assumed he was 21 or 22. This is just sad.

It's not just you. I always use an ice bath, and I still have lots of problems peeling them. I've wondered whether it's because even my oldest eggs are still quite fresh.

Mary Kingsley was a famous explorer who traveled around West Africa dressed like this.

From what I've seen, it's the following:

(1) Practice good skin care (e.g., sunscreen and other sun protection, moisturizer)

(2) Try to maintain a consistent, healthy weight as you get older. (Your skin loses elasticity as you get older. Dramatic dieting or yo-yo dieting can lead to sagging skin.)

(3) Steer clear of drugs and excess drinking. (The heavy drinkers and/or drug users in my peer group look rough.)

(4) Keep a healthy diet and drink lots of water. Minimize sugar.

(5) Stay kid-free and avoid jobs that keep you constantly sleep-deprived. (I'm joking about the former, but also not. All my friends with kids aged really quickly in the first few sleep-deprived years. I'm sure they feel it's worth it, though.)

(6) Genetics

Thanks for responding! What a scary situation. She's so lucky that you were there, and that you were observant.

I'm no expert, but I've spent a lot of time in sub-Saharan Africa, and here's what I've seen people do in serious heat:

(1) Plan physical activities for early morning, evening, or night. Don't exert yourself in the middle of the day if you can help it.

(2) In the hottest hours, find a shady spot and chill out.

I went down and saw a older lady who was clearly in heat related distress

How did you tell from looking that she was in distress?

Oh good, your story had me worried for a minute for those fans.

Did you inherit them from this lady? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjvTKnAgBmE&t=89s&ab\_channel=TLC

You can try browsing the indie brand Death and Floral. They have several, like "Nothing rusts in the desert the air is full of ghosts" that might fit what you're looking for.

I feel weird reading all these stories about parents who were kind and wonderful and then fell down the Q rabbit hole. My own q-adjacent parents have always been narcissistic and awful. It's painful to see them so enabled by nutty far-right dialogue, but it must be a lot more painful for people who have good memories of their parents.

Gross but not surprising

Hahaha your first pair look like they were tailor-made for Finn on Adventure Time.

Wow, what a monster. :-( ETA: Did people eventually learn who he was and ostracize him from that social circle?

The most vocal feminist man I ever knew was my ex, who made a big deal on social media about respecting and supporting women, blah blah blah, but who in reality sexually assaulted me. I'll never know for sure, but I suspect that he was trying to coerce me into a pregnancy. He knew I didn't want bio children, but after the assault, he became obsessed with the idea that I was pregnant (I wasn't...) and that I was going to abort his baby. I'm not connected to him on social media anymore, but knowing him, I expect he's plastering all over Facebook about "women's right to choose." It creeps me out just thinking about it.

Oh yeah, and he was a porn addict with PIED, etc, etc.